Know someone coping with job loss, money troubles now? Here's how you can help
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My friend lost his job. At the end of March, just as the horrors of the new pandemic were unfolding, his employers told him that they had to let him go. He had not expected it. Panic and anger took over first. How could they do it to me, he seethed. How will I face the family and friends, he worried. How will I find a new job in these times, he feared. A week was spent speaking to friends and holding the information from his wife and children.

My friend lost his job. At the end of March, just as the horrors of the new pandemic were unfolding, his employers told him that they had to let him go. He had not expected it. Panic and anger took over first. How could they do it to me, he seethed. How will I face the family and friends, he worried. How will I find a new job in these times, he feared. A week was spent speaking to friends and holding the information from his wife and children. 


Then he told his wife. She did not work. She quit her job years ago after the children were born. They decided to not let the children know, and manage with their savings. In the last 60 days, the turmoil in that household has been a scary picture.

Our friend was angry initially and is now depressed. He is not confident of finding a new job. Every application has returned with the comment that there are no positions to fill in these difficult times. He worries this temporary phase might become permanent. It is difficult to get him to see that things might be better. As a 40 plus professional, he thinks he is unemployable.

The household’s routine money decisions have become tougher to make. They continue to pay for the school that is no longer open but for the online version; they pay fees for online courses and summer classes they don’t see value in; they buy things the children want ordered online. But each decision is painful. They do not know how to let the kids know that they can’t spend like before.

The quarrels between the couple have increased. The man is quick to take offence and the woman is too scared to take charge. The relationship is on the brink of becoming abusive despite best intentions. The worried children find the parents tense.

Using accumulated savings and investment is problematic. In theory the household can run for another 12 months without an income. However, every decision seems tough. Liquidating the mutual funds at a loss is difficult; selling stocks at a loss is unthinkable; drawing the PF down now looks like a risk. The couple are unable to decide. What could we as friends do? Here is what the four of us who are close to the couple have done in the last 60 days.

Second, one of us has taken over his finances from his wife who was doing fine all along but is now struggling to make decisions under the new situation. We have made a liquidity plan with the assets, and have initiated the process to draw down the money the household needs, keeping expenses controlled.

Third, one of us has spoken to the children and told them that in the new circumstances where so much is changing, it would be foolhardy to spend too much. Dealing with the older child who had plans to go abroad to study this Fall has been the toughest. She knows she will have to drop that plan, but it breaks everyone’s heart to deal with that.

Fourth, we are constantly reminding the couple that they should see this as an interruption and not the end. It looks severe as it happens, but as the crisis dies down, things will be different and there will be new opportunity to work or create, and an economically viable alternative can be found.

Fifth, we have assured them that we are all around to offer a hand loan should things get tough. We have created a pool of funds and told the family we will chip in as and when needed, since we know the finances of the household.

There is a lot of work to do. The pessimism around us is not helpful. As the normal we knew before March 2020 seems increasingly elusive, we may have more friends and relatives needing help and support. How are you preparing to be the support your family and friends may need?

First, stay in touch. Make sure you do not allow the social isolation to cut you off. Look out for friends who aren’t communicating as before. Or not as active on social media as they once were. Reach out to talk and listen.

Second, try and understand what their situation is and see if you can help them solve it on their own. Most people do not need external monetary help or may be hesitant to reach out assuming you would shy away from getting involved. What they may truly need is the reassurance that their thought process is right. Be that person whom someone can trust and confide in.

Third, not everyone is willing to discuss difficult financial matters with their spouses. They like to insulate the family from any trouble with the finances. If the spouse is not involved in these decisions, it is even tougher. Try to help a friend unload their anxieties, work out their options, and think through their decisions without the fear of being judged or reprimanded.

Fourth, do not tell your friend that you understand their situation. You don’t if you yourself haven’t been fired from your job. Do not offer empty empathy. Be genuine about how you can help, and be aware that these are tough times that call upon the more fortunate to be kind, generous and helpful. Remain honest about how far you are willing to go for a friend.

Fifth, help your friend see the big picture. Unless the situation is very dire with no savings, investments or assets, your friend will be able to ride this phase with the assets they already have. Everything that is used now can be rebuilt when the times get better. Enable your friend to see a liquidity crunch for what it is and stop them from equating it to bankruptcy.

Life has been indescribably tough for so many around us. Make sure you reach out and support those that you can. So many of them are suffering in silence and need a shoulder to lean on.


  • Job Loss
  • Money
  • pandemic
  • Finance
  • Opportunity
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